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Did a little XMas shopping this evening. We got run out of the office
at 2:30 PM (those of us who were still there and working.) You
normally don’t have to tell me twice to make me gone, but today I did
have something I needed to finish because it gated other
developers. Companies do so much to instill motivation in employees
(developers in particular I’m talking about) and yet nothing motivates
me as much as the thought I might be letting my team down. That’s the
way to do it. The company as a whole is abstract, and even your
individual contribution to the value of stock or stock options. What
is more tangible and concrete is the look on the faces of the guys in
your office or their tone of voice on the phone when they needed
something from you and you couldn’t or didn’t deliver it.

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For reasons that aren’t for public consumption, this is shaping up to
be the worst XMas in many years for us. I just want it all over. When
things are going poorly, this is the absolutely worst time of the
year. Some of us may not want the cheer and festivity, so keep it out
of my face, please. I can absolutely understand the increase in
suicides this time of the year. When it’s good, it’s really good. When
it’s bad, everything is just made that much worse. I’m just holding
out for January 2nd and a relaxing of forced happiness.