An Open Letter to TBS

Below is the text of an email I just fired off to TBS. I stand behind it, so here it is on the blog as well.

I’m watching the playoff baseball games and I have hit the point where the Frank TV promos have driven me insane. I started out with a neutral opinion of Frank Caliendo but the repeated airings of the same few promos of him doing his stale corny crap over and over have convinced me he sucks and that I will NEVER watch one second of this show.

I may well start taping the games and watching on a delay so I can skip these mind-numbingly repetitious promos which are not the slightest bit amusing. They make me angry. They make me want to lobby MLB to yank your license to baseball. They make me want to find the executive that green lit Frank TV and light on fire a bag of dog poop on their porch. They make me want to shove Frank Caliendo in the same tube with James Doohan’s ashes and have him fired into orbit.

As a Braves fan I’ve been watching baseball on TBS for over 20 years and I’ve never hated the experience so much as I do now. Stop the insanity. These promos suck, Frank sucks, when TBS is airing this stuff TBS sucks. TBS used to be great. Please just dial down the suck. It’s not so much to ask, is it?

8 Replies to “An Open Letter to TBS”

  1. I have absolutely no idea what you are referring to here, but that email is just plain awesome. I don’t know who Frank Caliendo is, but I now believe that he must suck.

    Well done, sir.

  2. i’d buy a shirt that says “dave is awesome.” thanks for looking out for us, man. cuz i was having a hard time telling which made me stupider: the endless franktv promos or the endless “analysis” of harold reynolds. all i know is that my IQ goes down, and i have to down a quart of stoli to get it back. and that’s not healthy. long term.

  3. Agreed!

    His sole claim to fame is being able to do a dead on impression of Dubya and like Dana Carvey (who did Dubya’s daddy fairly well) he is typecast forever.

    Those commercials make my head hurt now that they are on over and over and over……ugh.

  4. Thanks, guys (and gal.) Today is the first day I got a big dose of Reynolds, but he’s not bugging me too bad. He’s only about a 0.20 on the McCarver Dumbshit Analysis Index. I’d say top to bottom the playoffs on TBS are better done than any baseball on Fox.

    It could just be my imagination and/or wishful thinking, but it sure seems like there are fewer Frank TV promos today. This could just be natural, as it now seems like the ones for LEVERAGE is taking its place. (LEVERAGE is done by former EGC interview guest John Rogers, BTW.)

  5. No question that Tim McCarver is the mackest of daddies in stupid baseball commentary. But Reynolds has more than his share of McCarver Moments. Just wait…

  6. Yes! Frank sucks, just like he sucks on Fox NFL Sunday. I don’t know what’s worse, his idiotic (pre-taped) banter with those hyenas, or that stupid jumping robot graphic. And my real problem is that even the game coverage sucks. They get everything wrong except painfully obvious cliches, they constantly say what “they would do” — that’s why they’re spectators, not managers. Oh, and my favorite line from Angels-Sox game 4 was “Nothing could be better than a game 5 in Anaheim.”
    In other words, “we hope the Angels win so we can squeeze another broadcast — and another 5 billion FrankTV commercials — out of this.” TBS SUCKS!

  7. I’m frankly surprised that A) they* gave him another season and that B) they’re over-promoting the show AGAIN. This is exactly the same as last year, except now we know the show is unfunny to the point of being embarrassing, and that’s coming from a guy who thought he was entertaining enough at first. 10 years ago.

    But you think THAT sucks? Try not being able to watch ANY post-season baseball this October up until tonight — if you’re an over-the-air TV viewer. Nothing drives home the death of the old broadcast model than the fact that you now have to have cable or satellite to see most of the playoffs.

    * yeah, I know

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