Meteorite In My Junk

I don’t know if this is the entirety of my problem, but this little son of a bitch shot out my pee hole this afternoon. I was expecting it, in general, and I wasn’t expecting that. It’s a weird experience watching particulate matter emerging from where it usually doesn’t.

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Big Pen

Signing the receipt for my CT scan:

Smling clerk: “You can keep that pen.”
Me: “I would hope so. This is by far the most expensive pen I’ve ever bought.”

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Lollipop

I’m not kicking it off from this doctor’s office, but Lollipop is now available for my AT&T LG G2. Bright spot in a rough week.

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Ouch

Still waiting for the 100% diagnosis of this excruciating lower back pain but it appears I have kidney stones. Thus far, not a fan.

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Life After Knowledge

knowledge 15

I really enjoyed Knowledge 15 last week. As always, it was a blast meeting customers, partners and coworkers. I always leave excited and exhausted. This is the fourth day since I got home and I am still tired. It’s a challenge getting back into the swing of my normal life and ordinary daily work but I will do my best.

Now I am anxiously waiting on Knowledge 16. It will be at the same place, Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas, May 15 – 20, 2016. I will do my best to be involved in pre-conference training because I find that enjoyable and valuable. If I met you this year, be gentle on me next year when I have forgotten your name. I’ve forgotten hundreds of them!

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The Bourne Consultant

I’m having a “Bourne Identity” moment about my career:

I don’t mind wearing a suit and I really enjoying talking to customers and partners. Maybe I am a sleeper agent planted in Engineering 20 years ago by Sales and Marketing guys. It makes you wonder.

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Punkin Moment

Me: “Are you sure mommy isn’t invited to lunch? I think she should come.”
Punkin: “Just us.”
Me: “Why not?”
Punkin : “I just want to enjoy you because I haven’t got to see you.”

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More Vegas

Customer in spare time at lab:

Customer: “I am sorry to ask so many questions.”
Me: “That is literally why they pay me to be here.”

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Vegas Moment

Me: “I’d guess you have a Mancunian accent.”
British Stranger: “Bolton, but I’ll give it to you. Bonus for using ‘Mancunian’ correctly.”

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Vegas Day Four

Extremely long day. I was on the clock from 7:30 AM to 9:30 PM. My black dress socks looked slick – I realized my blisters were bleeding.

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Vegas Conversation

This is an actual conversation from my Vegas trip. I had met a guy playing Pai Gow poker and finally left after the dealer scolded me for playing my hand wrong. I played some roulette and talked to him on my way out. I was talking about my strategy for playing which is really a strategy for stopping. I’ll call him Stranger A. Sitting next to him is a dude I’ve never seen before, Stranger B.

Me: “I play a very boring roulette style. It’s less riverboat gambler and more insurance company actuary.”
Stranger A: “Thats funny.”
Stranger B: “Yes, actuaries!”
Me: “Are you an actuary?”
Stranger B: “I sure am. Look!” He turns to face me, and his shirt says in a fancy font “Actuary”.
Me: “Right on, actuary guy!” We high five.
Stranger A: “You two are stone cold nerds.”

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Plane

Looks like being the very last one on the plane worked in my favor. Scammed a row to myself.

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Evil Genius Chronicles Podcast for April 18 2015 – Gimme the Bits

In this episode, I play a song about Empty Hearts; I talk about not being at New Media Expo; I discuss implementing my “principle of least regrets”; I talk about Christiana Ellis’ video about Netflix and binge watching; I talk about Kickstarter and not wanting any more physical rewards; I reminisce about the Writers’ Strike Chronicles podcast.

Here is the direct MP3 download for the Evil Genius Chronicles podcast, April 18 2015

Links mentioned in this episode:

You can subscribe to this podcast feed via RSS. To sponsor the show, contact BackBeat Media. Don’t forget, you can fly your EGC flag by buying the stuff package. This show as a whole is Creative Commons licensed Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported. Bandwidth for this episode is provided by Cachefly.

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Game of Thrones Game for Free

I bought the Telltale Games app of the Game of Thrones game a month ago. Now and for a limited time, that game is free on various platforms. I’m still early in Episode 1, and am considering just going ahead and getting the season pass while it is on sale for 25% off. I wish I had waited instead of buying it, because I haven’t gone very far in the game at all. I could have saved $5 and used that towards the season. Oh well, it is all Amazon coin funny money to me anyway.

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Rough Day

This day took a turn for the worse with “we don’t have the parts to fix this car right now and we can’t let you drive it away.”

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