Bush Says Dance

Democrat Underground did a parody on April 1st, Bush gives Iraqis 48 hours to dance in the streets. I wish this parody was, like, farther from the truth. Here is a sample paragraph, taken from a fake Bush monologue.

We have pursued the liberation of Iraq at great cost to America in terms of lives and treasure and as yet the Iraqi people have thus far refused to welcome us in the manner that Richard Perle and William Kristol have assured me that they would. We’ve shocked. We’ve awed. We’ve knocked down their buildings and blown up those little marketplaces that they shop in. We’ve even tried a decapitation. We done the things that all good liberators do and not only have these ungrateful people refused to overthrow Saddam they haven’t danced, they haven’t put any rose petals in the streets. Nothing. In fact they’ve even been shooting back at us and thus further delaying the hour of their liberation. I don’t know what else we could have done to win these people over but the time for patience is running out. I’m tired of trying to win the hearts and minds of people who refuse to see that a ten year occupation by the infidel is a good deal for them, for their children and for a sizable number of American corporations.

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Dave Slusher is a blogger, podcaster, computer programmer, author, science fiction fan and father. Member of the Podcast Hall of Fame class of 2022.