You can take me home

I’m listening to a mishmash of all the songs I have ever ripped onto my work computer via RealJukebox. What just came up was Liz Phair’s “Headache.” I’ve been talking about how I want to cease to be an employee and return to being a hired gun contractor, like, permanently and forever. She has this line in the song that always makes me think of that (and vice versa). When she sings “You can take me home, but I will never be your girl” I think, yep. You can pay me money to have me do things for you, but I’ll never be your guy. I’m just a guy who can do tasks for money without buying into the bullshit.

One of the reasons I didn’t want to work for Home Depot as a software developer (I had the offer a few years ago) was because the guys were telling me about the number of people who “bleed black and orange, they love HD so much.” All I could think was “I’m not fucking bleeding black and orange for you, no matter how much you pay me.” I don’t want to date these companies, fall in love or marry them. I’m a whore. Let’s do what we’re going to do, pay me and then on to the next trick. Don’t kiss me on the mouth and leave the invoice on the nightstand. I believe that is my true path to career happiness.

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Dave Slusher is a blogger, podcaster, computer programmer, author, science fiction fan and father. Member of the Podcast Hall of Fame class of 2022.