The first time I drove into Chicago as I was moving up here, it was mid morning but there was still bad traffic with backups. I turned the radio to a news talk station just as a traffic report was starting, and proceeded to listen to 60 seconds of unintelligible gobbledygook. After having listened to the whole thing, I had no idea whether they had just talked about the backup I was in and couldn’t have told you one thing about the current traffic. Well, the fine folks at Gapers Block have a handy guide to deciphering the nonsense that is Chicago traffic reports. It still doesn’t make listening to the rapid fire cattle auctioneer delivery any easier, but armed with this knowledge there is some chance that you might be able to tell what is going on.