I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here are a few I would suggest:
- “Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.”
- “Drinking will significantly improve your chances of murdering a loved one.”
- “Use this product and you may wake up in Morocco wearing a cowboy suit and tongue-kissing a transmission salesman.”
– from the George Carlin Day Calendar for March 27, 2006
¡Ja! ¡Ja! ¡Ja! (BTW, that’s Spanish for “Ha! Ha! Ha!”)
(OK, I’m done being silly. Maybe someone slipped some silly juice into my afternoon coffee.)