People I Hate While Travelling

  • The fidgety lean-backer who not only does everything they can to stick their headrest in your face, the they keep doing it and wiggle around the entire flight.
  • The noisy friends who are sitting apart. We all got it, you know each other yet you are on different rows. Spare us all the performance art. Your in-jokes don’t get any funny the louder you bellow them.
  • The AC plug hogs. Here in Hartsfield, the first eight wall plugs I found all had both a laptop plus a cellphone charger plugged in. If you had a USB phone charger, you could get the job done with only occupying a single plug. From here on out, I’m throwing a little cube tap in my backpack when I travel. I’m sitting two gates away from mine so I could plug up my computer.
  • The salmon person who in the midst of a swift moving crowd decides to come to a dead stop. Extra points if you do it right in front of a guy pushing a cart loaded full of heavy stuff. I saw an old man come this close to getting wiped out, and a dude almost throw his back out trying to stop the cart short of this oblivious jackass.
  • Here’s one that just happened ten seconds ago: a guy walked by and dropped a piece of paper covered with handwritten notes out of his pocket. Several flight attendants tried to get his attention as he walked by them. When he got to me I flagged him down and when I did he was a complete dick. Even as I was trying to point his attention to his own stuff lying on the ground, he was blowing me off and giving me the skunk eye for bothering him. He made me wish I had just thrown his crap away. If there is one bad way to be in this life, it’s being the kind of person that makes others regret doing you favors.

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Dave Slusher is a blogger, podcaster, computer programmer, author, science fiction fan and father. Member of the Podcast Hall of Fame class of 2022.