Poetry and Justice

A wonderful thing happened to me today. Well actually, it was not exactly that so much as a bad thing happening to a douchebag and thus providing me with delightful schadenfreude. We were driving to the dog park on the old Air Force base, over by the beach. To get there, you drive around a mile and a half of four lane road with a median down the center. Shortly after I got on the parkway, there was some beater car driving by some young guy with his young girlfriend in the passenger seat. This guy was swerving around like a madman. I was getting close to passing him when he swung so far into my lane that his right tires were no longer even on the white line. At this point, I honked at him and when he finally got in his own lane I went past.

Now here’s where it gets good. There was a minor road rage vibe, with the dude looking over at me and giving me the skunk eye. After I was by him, he swerved over in my lane again but this time one foot behind my bumper. I couldn’t tell if he was doing that because he was an incompetent driver or because he was trying to menace me. Either way, it pissed me off. Around here is where on a warmer day I might already have deployed the middle finger. Right around this point, which is maybe one minute after the original honking, I heard a loud bang behind me. I looked in the mirror and I could see this kid skidding down the curb, his left tires smoking as they scraped along the cement. When the initial surprise wore off, I started laughing. When I noticed him pulling off the side of the road because his left front tire was flat, I laughed my ass off and kept doing it pretty much the rest of the way to the dog park.

The great thing about this story is that the justice was so poetic and the karma so instant that it was just beautiful. This guy was pissed off at me for having the nerve to honk at him when he swerved crazily in front of me, he got stroppy and almost immediately flattened his own tire by swerving crazily. I suppose a stronger, better, kinder person than me might have even stopped and helped him or at least been a little sympathetic. I think this jackass got exactly what he deserved and right while I was watching. You got to love it when it plays out that way.

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Dave Slusher is a blogger, podcaster, computer programmer, author, science fiction fan and father.