Me and The Mormons

This evening we had a visit from a couple of “elders” from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Days Saints. Any religion that sets loose 19 year old kids on the public and calls them “elders” is one I find a little hard to take seriously from the git go.

These young gentlemen asked me if I believed in Jesus, and I told them no. They then asked if I had any particular beliefs and I said yes. I told them ‘I believe in J. R. “Bob” Dobbs and the Church of the Subgenius.’ The guy in front remained stoic, but the guy in back cracked a big smile at that. They asked me if I’d like to learn more about Jesus and I said “No thanks, I think Bob has got me covered.” And that was that.

I have before threatened to move my copies of The Book of the SubGenius, Revelation X, and The Subgenius Psychlopaedia of Slack: The Bobliographon into the front room just so they are handy when missionaries come calling. That way, I can try to counter-missionary-ize them. I do believe this is the first visit we’ve had from Mormon missionary teenagers. Usually the people we get are elderly black Jehovah’s Witnesses. All of them could benefit from learning the word of “Bob!” It’s easy to remember our credos as there is only one commandment: “Let he who is without humor mount up upon himself.” At least, that’s the King Ivan translation. The modern English version is edgier.

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Dave Slusher is a blogger, podcaster, computer programmer, author, science fiction fan and father. Member of the Podcast Hall of Fame class of 2022.

2 thoughts on “Me and The Mormons”

  1. Ha, ha and triple HA! How far into your dwelling did these “elders” go? I usually greet them at the door and start acting like I’m tweaking or something.

    Also, whether I practice or not, I like to play the card I was issued from the Vatican! Usually these folks don’t know how to argue with Rome!

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