You know how sometimes you get into completely weird situations through a serious of steps that don't individually seem so odd? I'm going to present some of these here. They will all be absolutely true, and completley devoid of any comedy killing context.

So I'm standing in a Starbucks when I reach in my pocket and stick my hand straight into a big lump of forgotten wasabi in an open cup, and then I absentmindedly lick my fingers immediately causing tears to well up and snot to pour out of my nose right there by the espresso bar.